I see a lot of stuff out on the internet that defends single mothers in the dating world. I see single mothers getting highly defensive about their place in the dating marketplace. While I have a certain soft spot for a single parent be it a mother or a father I do not condone the attitude I see in single mothers in the realm of dating. Let me explain the problems I see in their general stances.
Usually one of the things you see them say is that their child comes first. Good, that is as it should be and no one in the realm of sanity would try to date you in you were a crap parent. However, you also have to consider the mindset a potential partner is having coming into this. They have to examine from the beginning that if things go well enough they have to accept your baggage it the form of a child from a previous man. Yes, I just referred to your child as baggage. Contain your butt hurt and continue reading.
This child is not their responsibility, it is yours. The other thing that will be your responsibility is balancing your child and the needed time to develop a strong relationship. If you cannot do that then spare them and stop dating until you can. It is not fair to try to have someone fill your life as a temporary emotional Band-Aid if the logistics of holding it together aren’t there. Don’t lead people on.
You may want to also consider putting yourself in the shoes of the man who is even considering dating you. He is actually considering taking on the responsibility for a life or lives he did not create, has no ties to and he is still standing there? You say you can’t find a good man…. Is it possible you are completely conceited in your thoughts on what you deserve? Think about the gravity of being a man and saying yes to this scenario. There is not a whole lot of other acts a man can make that are as self-sacrificing as being a father to kids that are not his.
All of this is building to me making this point… Our dating society is far too self-serving. Western society has become too conceited. Relationships will only begin to hold together and people will only be happy again in them when we stop undervaluing each other. The reason I have targeted single mothers in this article is that they seem to be the worst. You have the least to bring to the table and expect the most. Start getting real. Be reasonable in your approach or start getting used to being disappointed.
You don’t have to like my perspective, I am just not afraid to give you the insight on how the male mind views this. To us, this is the truth of dating you. This is why you are still single mothers.
A thirty three year old childless male that kept it in his pants.
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